Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dear Miss Alex

From: Suck ass
To: Elivis Fonzie Sox
Subject: X-Mas
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2008 11:25:15 -0500

Hi Alex,

I got your message about the party.
Thanks for the invite! There's a small chance I won't be in Jersey
that weekend, but if I'm in town I will definitely stop by.

-Undisclosed loser name

Fast Forward One Week before party where
I send out my 'Reminder' *as if I should have to Pfffft.....
Anyway eye roll*

Hey Alex,

Got your message about the party earlier in the week. My GF hurt her back
sorta bad on Monday, so I think I'm just going over to her place
in the Bronx this weekend and chill out with her there. Sorry I'm going
to miss the festivities!

-Undisclosed Loser

What's going on in my head:

Dear Loser,

Sorry to hear your GF busted up her back reaching into the
over to grab her pork ribs. I certainly hope she's ok and it won't
keep her from stuffing her grill for too long.

I'm quite sad to hear you won't be there as you know it won't be
a party without your baldness. But I appreciate you telling
me 2 days before the event... as all the other douche bags
that did this to me. I'm sure the very nice man at the store will give me my
money back for all the YES RSVPs and cash I've dropped on food. No problem.

It's not a problem cause unlike you and Beef Steak Charlie *your GF*
I have many friends.... but you'll be in my heart this holiday season as
I'm having a good time and your lazy ass is sitting home or doing
whatever it is you're ACTUALLY doing.

P.S. Congrats on the Girlfriend... I didn't know you had one till ooooh
2 days before my party!

Merry Christmas! Talk to you soon!

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